Friday, January 13, 2012

38 weeks!

dear cletus;

welllll, things are whipping on by as fast as ever, except i can see the finish line clearly from where i am. you weigh somewhere around 7 lbs this week and are about 20 inches long, the length of a leek!  speaking of leeks, i have to take many of them all the time. you are really low in my pelvis and it often feels like i am smuggling a bowling ball in my vagina. lots of pelvis pressure and low back pain, still. when i stand up from lying down i feel you drop down as i'm standing, and it don't tickle, cletus.  that's ok, because it shouldn't be much longer now, and the vast majority of my pregnancy was so pleasant, while lots of women i know have such a hard time, i still feel pretty fortunate. 3 weeks of discomfort out of 40 is pretty damned good!

i have a nesting thing going on that is out of control. i want this house to be READY FOR YOU, whatever that means. i have begun marathon cooking sessions in an attempt to fill our downstairs deep freeze with meals i can just pop into the crockpot/oven so that i don't have as much to do, cooking-wise, once you're here. as of last night, i'm pretty sure we have our first month of meals taken care of, if not more.  i know we would not starve if i didn't do this, but i'm trying to do whatever it is that will make our lives easier once you're here.  i don't do well with lots of distraction when i want to focus on something, and i feel like having all these items in place will make me feel more calm and happy.

did you know, cletus, that you have not only one room,  but two?  your nursery is pretty small, but i didn't realize quite how small it would be once we loaded all your furniture in there. there wasn't enough room to put the awesome nursing glider your dad got me for the holidays. so we disassembled the guest room adjacent to your nursery and set it up as your second room. we got a couple dressers from ikea, and put the nursing chair in there along with a bunch of your other things, and now you have a suite of rooms. very posh, cletus. first world fetus, indeed. 

i ended up in the hospital last week for 4 hours because my blood pressure went up from out of nowhere. the hospital i'm having you at (which by the way, was the hospital i was born at) has an assessment room just for preggos, so you get to bypass emergency and go straight there.  i don't know if all hospitals are like that, but it's a great idea. we were there for about 4 hours. they took my blood pressure, did some blood work, and were monitoring you the whole time with that belly heartbeat monitor band thingy. your heartbeat was good and strong and never dipped at all, so they were quite satisfied that everything was ok. honestly, i don't think they care too much how mommy is doing as long as baby is showing stable signs, and you sure were.  i also had no other concerning symptoms, so after the 4 hrs my blood pressure had returned to normal and they sent us on our way. i felt lots better knowing you were ok.

a couple days ago i was having some contractions.  not painful ones, but the most significant they've been so far. last night i had 4 inside of an hour, and then they totally stopped.  i still have a week and a half until my due date. your dad and i are really ready and excited to meet you! usually i get a bit anxious about not knowing when things are going to happen. i have a thing about being on time and punctual. i like to be feel prepared for things. however, i've resigned myself (let's say 85%) to the fact that you will come according to your own schedule, no matter how inconvenient that might be to me ;)  one of the many things i'll have to GET USED TO.

well, i  have a full day of awesome ahead of me. in an hour, i will go have my hour and a half massage with your auntie jenn, then i have my appointment with the OB, then your auntie yvette is taking me out to lunch for my birthday. not a bad day!  btw.. you have many awesome aunties who are anxious to meet you.

see you soon, baby girl! you'll know i'm your mom when you come out by all the crying and snotting and omging i'll be doing.

love, mumsy.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

week 37!

dear cletus;

the final countdown has begun. this pregnancy is now considered full term, and you could safely be born any time now. you acknowledged this milestone at some point on monday by dropping deeper into my pelvis and causing me a world of chronic back pain and the urge to pee with even more frequency than ever before, which was already pretty damned frequent.  i'm not mad at ya, because you're just doing what babies do who are getting ready to be born, but man, my back hurts. i went for chiro today and and going back tomorrow for another chiro session and a massage. i'm hoping that will start me feeling better.

you seem to be feeling just fine. you're shifting and stretching out all day on and off.  a hiccups session here and there. you're about 6.5 lbs now and the length of a stalk of swiss chard. 

i'm now seeing my OB once a week to make sure things are in check. blood pressure and protein/glucose excretion are monitored to make sure pre-eclampsia isn't happening. so far, everything is checking out just fine. i'm always a tiny bit nervous that my blood pressure will start to go up, as it's been a concern in the past, but keep coming back from my appointments pleasantly surprised.

less than three weeks left till my due date, and we are pretty ready.  i give your dad more and more tasks, and he does them like a trooper.  starting today, i will prepare one recipe for the freezer every day for the next couple weeks. i need to get a bunch of aluminum dishes from the dollar store.  this is very intriguing stuff, eh cletus? ok i will sum up.

i am not anxious about your delivery, really. i'm excited about the process, and every change in my body, i wonder IS THIS IT?  everyone i know seems to want to tell me that every fart and burp is a SURE SIGN I"M GOING TO HAVE THIS BABY RIGHT NOOOOOW.  i don't feel like anything is about to happen.  i had a dream that your delivery date was january 22.  22 is my favourite number. i dreamed up your name and dreamed up that you were a girl, so i wouldn't be surprised if january 22 will indeed be your due date. it will happen when it happens. i am very excited to finally see your face, and call you by your name and give you kisses.

go easy on my back, baby girl. i'll need my strength to push you out.

see you soon!

Friday, December 23, 2011

week 35!

dear cletus;

i don't know what to tell you.  you are probably the size of a freakin' elephant this week, are 4 feet long and weigh 318219281 lbs. i feel you up under my ribs. you are active and moving all the time. ALL THE TIME. TAKE A FREAKING NAP.  your movements are weird feeling, and less noticeable than before when you would poke and jab, parry and thrust. now sometimes i'll notice i haven't felt any pokes in a while, but once i put my hands on my belly i can feel you shifting around in there. it's bizarre, but i think i will miss this feeling once you're out.

how am i feeling? full. gravid. pregnant. moving around is getting more challenging. getting turned over in bed or off the couch can be a super fun time. my hand is better some days and worse the next, depending on what i've been up to.  right now i've been spending a lot of time crocheting gifts for the holidays, so some mornings i feel pretty sore. so far no real noticeable swelling in the feet, and just some mild swelling in my hands. also, tired and getting tireder. naps are a survival mechanism.

your nursery is set up, and now we're organizing the extra room adjacent to yours as a nursing area/spillover storage space for all your stuff. we went to ikea yesterday to get two dressers which will hopefully be put together this weekend so i can get back to organizing and getting ready.  we bought a gliding recliner chair with a built in footrest thinger, and that is supposed to be arriving this morning. i like getting stuff ready for you. it calms me to have a project. your mommy is nuts :)

yesterday your dad and i went to see dr lackie and she did an ultrasound to confirm whether or not you were head down and getting ready to be born.  you are! head down, facing the right way, and super cute. we saw your brain, your heart, your face, hands and feet. and your junk. you're still a girl.

today we are celebrating chanukkah with my side of the family and then sunday will be christmas at your babka's house. weird to think that next time you'll be a big girl nearly a year old.. maybe walking even! last year around this time, we were a couple months shy of getting married. lots can change in the space of a year! we've had a couple doozies ;)

see you soon, cletus!
love, your mom.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

week 34.75 :)

dear cletus;

oh look, it's almost freakin' christmas. november and december have gone by like something really really fast and on fire hurtling through space. a meteor. yeah, that's what. i'm getting distracted by how the days are turning into weeks, etc. this time of the year always seems to whiz by, but this is ridiculous!

you weight about 5 lbs and are the size of a canteloupe! beta carotene! your movements are feeling different as you get bigger. less jabby/kicky, more pressurey. i feel you turn over. i'm sorry my uterus couldn't be any bigger for you, but i'm pretty sure it's nearly coming out of my mouth as it is. i've started to feel you up under my ribs.

this week will be a quick ultrasound to check if you are head down. i'm excited to see you! we haven't seen you since week 20 and we won't see you again till you're plopped all covered in jello and cream cheese onto my chest. they will also do the group b strep test.

i have been starving all the time. i would eat the cats if they weren't so goddamned quick. i have been dealing with some carpal tunnel issues in my right hand, which sucks, but it's been better since i got a splint to wear at night sent to me by a sweet friend who had similar problems when she was pregnant. hopefully it should disappear once you're born. i get super tired in the afternoon. luckily i can nap basically whenever i want, so i find a 1-1.5 nap is all i need to feel better. otherwise, things are really good!

we went to our labour and delivery class at the hospital last weekend, and had a really great instructor. she's a L&D nurse at north york general, and was really nice and engaging. we toured the maternity floor, learned where to go when we get to the hospital, saw some of the birthing suites (they each have jacuzzis in them!) and the mother/baby rooms. i think both dan and i learned a few things.

i've packed my bag and your bag, and the nursery is ready.

baby girl, i am getting extremely excited to meet you. i stare at all the babies i see and wonder if you'll look anything like them. i feel like i should have an idea in my head of what you'll look like, but i really don't. no clue. good thing i get to meet you soon so i can find out!

37 days to go. wow.

keep growin, baby girl... but not TOO much ;)

love, mom.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

week 33!!

dear cletus;

this week you are the size of a pineapple and weigh over 4.5 lbs. you're getting chunkier by the day and your skin is getting less translucent and more opaque, which i am thankful for because having a see-thru baby would be weird.  your exercise space is getting smaller and smaller and your presence in my belly is becoming more and more difficult to ignore. i feel you whenever i bend over to get something. i feel your jitterbugging on my bladder. i will be lying on my back and suddenly i can feel some part of you rising to the surface of my belly in a weird hard lump. what i'm saying, is that i'm calling bullshit on all these "i didn't know i was pregnant" people. i SUPPOSE if i were super out of touch with my body that there is the possibility i might not have known up until about 18-20 weeks. i mean, it's perfectly normal to be dead tired all the time and your boobs suddenly to get 3 sizes bigger from out of nowhere, right? but after i started feeling movement, and SEEING movement... well. i'm just saying that denial is a very powerful force. and that people are big stupid liar faces.

this is me. 

my sweet baby girl, your poor mother has lost her mind. my days are filled searching the internet for cute little craft projects and decor ideas for your nursery. sometimes i just go and stand in your room and imagine you in your crib. then i rock back and forth and turn the lights on and off a hundred times. then your dad tries not to make eye contact with me at all for fear of the next order of what he needs to hang/move/install/paint/assemble, etc. i can't help it, i have urges. and the voices are telling me to decorate.

a couple weekends ago we hung your mobile and the gorgeous picture above your crib, secured your bookcase to the wall in case some day you should decide to climb it, hung a cute clothes rack thingy to the back of the door, and fastened your change pad to the change table. and when i say we i mean your dad. the chandelier is finished and installed, and i am really super happy with how it turned out.  i have an idea for another decor project but i have to source out some stuff that i need before i do it.  i also have an adorable crochet pattern for a blanket that i'd like to make for you. i should also sleep more often.

things have become a little more uncomfortable in the last few weeks. i'm not sleeping as soundly, and muscle cramps are happening more frequently. headache has become a way of life. i'm tired a lot earlier in the evening now. not as bad as how it was in the first trimester, but the abundance of energy that i had in my second trimester has plummeted. i wake up often in the night time with sore arms and numb hands. turning over in bed sometimes feels like a herculean effort. and i have 6.5 weeks left to go!

i had a dream that i went into labour, and kept thinking NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. IT'S NOT TIME I'M NOT READY!!  but i guess we're never ready.  you have a place to sleep and clothes to wear and there are diapers for your butt. i think we will probably always feel vastly unprepared for the new life we're about to enter, but i hope we'll manage ok.  soon you'll be here and your dad and i will stare at you all day long and not believe that you're really here. 

keep growin, little girl!

love, your mommy :)

Friday, November 18, 2011

week 30!!

dear cletus;

i have been bad with posting, and i'm sorry.  these past three weeks have been very busy.  your auntie jessica came to visit for a whole week! it was a super fun time.  your babka, (my mother in law) threw me a fantastic baby shower.  cletus, you will not be naked, that's for sure. you got so many adorable outfits! i can't wait to put you in them. you got lots of other great stuff, too.  basically, we don't need anything anymore and if i had three baby girls, they would all have what to wear. you are so loved and you're not even born yet.

your daddy and i have been busy getting your room ready and the house organized for when you're here.  he painted your room, put all your furniture together, and the room looks awesome!  i am working at getting all your decor stuff together. i have a couple projects on the go which i think will look absolutely gorgeous when they're all done and set up. 

currently, you're weighing in at about 3 lbs and are about the size of 4 navel oranges. i think that's a weird measurement, but whatever. 4 navel oranges, it is.  basically from here on in, it's a weight gaining marathon with you gaining a lb every other week, which means you'll more than double your current weight by the time you're born.

you have been a super active little girl.  your movements are starting to feel less jabby and more pressure-y and shifty. i can feel you switching positioning a lot.  i like when i'm lying in bed and suddenly an apple-sized round bump pops up in the middle of my belly. i figure it's either your head or your bum.  you used to like to hang out on the right side of my belly but seem to be preferring the left these days.  also, you do this great thing where you like to use my bladder as a trampoline. i do not like that, cletus. not in the least. i already need to go pee often enough.

i'm seeing my OB every two weeks, now.  i passed my glucose tolerance test, which made me very happy.  my blood pressure is nice and normal. no foot swelling yet.  i find that i'm getting up more often at night to pee and because my positioning seems to get uncomfortable more often, but i'm still managing to get good sleep.  have been having some headaches and my fatigue is starting to creep back a little, but not nearly as bad it was in the first trimester.  otherwise, things are pretty great!

it's been lots of fun putting your things together and getting ready for you being here and part of our lives.  i'm not scared of labour, because i know what needs to happen will happen and you'll be fine, but i'm a little nervous about what life is going to look like after you're here.  there is going to be so much to do!  but people get through it and we will, too. you'll be here in just over two months!!

i'm getting ready to start filling our freezer so i can stop worrying about what we'll eat once you're born.  a full freezer will make for a calmer mommy, and that is worth it's weight in gold, just ask your daddy. two soups are being made today, and lots of crock pot meals will be prepped and frozen in the coming weeks.

keep growing, baby girl!

love, your mom :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

27 weeks!

dear cletus;

our second trimester is drawing to a close.  the honeymoon trimester is almost over! i have enjoyed all the energy, un-sore boobs, and the general feeling of wellness.  apparently, i can now expect my tits to start hurting again, the return of my fatigue, more leg cramps, swollen feet, hemorrhoids, trouble sleeping, shortness of breath, and other various and sundry loveliness.  i am hoping for the best, that the third will be like my first trimester and be relatively symptom free.

this week you are 2 and a quarter pounds and are the size of a chinese cabbage.  the fissures on your brain's surface are forming, and you have apparently begun to dream.  i can't imagine what you must dream about. i guess if you're able to hear what me and your dad talk about most of the time, you probably dream about our cats. you're opening and closing your eyes all the time, and have regular sleeping and waking intervals. you're also kicking the shit out of me all the live long day.  i look down and see my belly bopping and shifting through my shirt.  it's extremely bizarre, but also make me grin like an idiot every time. you are a very very active little girl. even as i type this, you are doing your crazy cancan mexican jumping bean routine all up ins.  you seem to like to hang out towards my right.

tonight your dad will be painting your nursery. it's all taped off and ready to go. then we can get your furniture all assembled and packed in there. we already have your change table and book case.  your crib is en route and should be here within a week or so.  i already have 1320912382190 outfits for you ready to be hung up.  cletus, you aren't even born yet and already you have more winter coats than i do. i have a bunch of decor projects on the go.  i hope you love your room.  actually, if we're being honest, we won't likely be in this house long enough for you to have any memory of your room. but i promise to love your room enough for both of us.

lots of medical appointments in the next couple weeks. i saw the OB last week. she has moved our appointments to once every two weeks instead of once a month now that i'll be starting the 3rd trimester.  so far so good.  i'm trying my best to make sure i'm taking the best possible care of you that i can. see my family doc on friday and the nephrologist for a recheck on monday.

well, that was probably pretty boring to everyone except me.

keep growin, my little gymnast!

love, your mom :)